How to Manage Perfectionism...with or without OCD
Episode Title: How to Manage Perfectionism...with or without OCD
Host: Dr. Vicki Rackner, MD
Summary: In this episode, Dr. Vicki Rackner explores the concept of perfectionism and its impact on people with and without OCD.
Key Takeaways:
- The Difference Between Healthy Striving and Perfectionism:
- Healthy striving is about personal growth and aiming for excellence based on what you value.
- Perfectionism is about fear of judgment, driven by external validation and the belief that by being perfect, you can avoid blame or shame.
- While healthy striving leads to growth, perfectionism leaves you stuck in cycles of anxiety and disappointment.
- Perfectionism’s Backfire Effect:
- Perfectionism often leads to procrastination, missed deadlines, and exhaustion.
- Perfectionism is harmful not only in your professional life but also in personal relationships.
- Perfectionism and the Brain:
- Perfectionism is linked to the fear-driven response from our evolutionary Paleo Brain, which sees mistakes as threats to survival.
- In people with OCD, perfectionism can manifest as compulsions, increasing anxiety rather than alleviating it.
- Social media can exacerbate perfectionism by constantly presenting "perfect" images that fuel unrealistic expectations.
- Exercises for Overcoming Perfectionism:
- Examine Your Language: Stop identifying yourself or others as a "perfectionist" and view perfectionism as a behavior, not a character trait.
- Identify Your Perfection-Seeking Habits: Reflect on specific examples of perfectionism in your life and the fears driving them.
- Weigh the Costs and Benefits: Ask yourself how perfectionism serves or harms you, and challenge the belief that perfection leads to better outcomes.
- Have a Conversation with Your Perfectionism: Imagine perfectionism as a being you interact with and ask why perfection is necessary in your life.
- Practice Making Mistakes on Purpose: Try "mistake therapy" by intentionally making mistakes to desensitize yourself to the fear of imperfection.
- For Those with OCD: If perfectionism is linked to compulsions, work on them with your therapist using ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention).
Actionable Steps:
- Reflect on where perfectionism shows up in your life. Is it about what you value, or is it driven by fear of judgment?
- Practice making small, intentional mistakes each day to break the cycle of perfectionism.
- Shift from a fixed to a growth mindset by celebrating efforts and progress, rather than chasing the unattainable goal of perfection.
- Seek support from a therapist if your perfectionism is intertwined with OCD compulsions.
Quotes:
- “Perfectionism is not a badge of honor. It’s a set of behaviors that will keep you stuck.”
- “Healthy striving is about you. Perfectionism is all about what others think about you.”
- “Once you know you can live through a feeling, you have nothing to fear anymore.”
Connect with Dr. Vicki Rackner:
- Website: FreeMeFromOCD.org
- Social Media: Follow Dr. Rackner on Instagram and Facebook for more insights and resources on managing OCD.
