Free Me from OCD

Episode #39:

2 Kinds of Pain: Part 2 of 3 - OCD and Pain

Episode Title: 2 Kinds of Pain: Part 2 of 3 - OCD and Pain

Host: Dr. Vicki Rackner

Summary: In this second episode of a three-part series on pain and OCD, Dr. Vicki Rackner explores the difference between primary pain and poisonous pain. She explains how our natural responses to pain, especially when dealing with OCD, can either help us move forward or keep us stuck in a cycle of suffering. Dr. Rackner also shares insights into how our brains react to pain and offers practical advice on how to manage it more effectively, leaning into primary pain to heal and avoiding the traps of poisonous pain.

Key Takeaways:

1. Understanding Primary Pain:

  • Primary pain is a natural response to real loss or difficult circumstances. It's the immediate pain we feel when something important to us is disrupted—like the loss of something meaningful, whether that’s a rose garden or a loved one’s peace of mind due to OCD.
  • Primary pain is an unavoidable part of life, but feeling it and moving through it is the path to healing. It’s like letting the body heal a cut—natural and necessary.

2. The Danger of Poisonous Pain:

  • Poisonous pain occurs when we try to avoid, numb, or distract ourselves from the natural pain we feel. This includes avoiding situations that cause discomfort, numbing the pain with food, shopping, or other distractions, or blaming yourself or others for the situation.
  • Avoidance, distraction, and self-blame keep you stuck and add layers of suffering to the primary pain.
  • These responses come from the Paleo Brain, which interprets pain as dangerous and tries to help you avoid it, but in doing so, makes the situation worse.

3. The Role of the Paleo Brain:

  • Your Paleo Brain has three main strategies to protect you from pain:
    • Avoidance – It tries to keep you away from things that might trigger pain, like looking away from the skeleton of a rose bush that was eaten by goats (or avoiding OCD-related triggers).
    • Numbing – It encourages you to escape painful feelings through distractions like binge-watching TV, eating, or shopping.
    • Blame and Resistance – It focuses your attention on fighting against what’s already happened, or blaming yourself or others for the pain.
    • These strategies keep you stuck in poisonous pain, preventing you from moving forward and healing.

4. The Importance of Leaning Into Primary Pain:

  • Moving through primary pain is the key to growth and healing. Avoidance and distraction only increase suffering.
  • In the context of OCD, trying to avoid the discomfort of obsessions through compulsions only strengthens the OCD cycle.
  • Learning to feel your feelings—such as anxiety, sadness, or frustration—and trusting that you can survive them is a crucial step in overcoming both OCD and poisonous pain.

5. Practical Tips for Managing Pain:

  • Identify Primary vs. Poisonous Pain: Ask yourself, "Is this pain a result of my current circumstances (primary pain), or is it my brain's attempt to avoid or numb the pain (poisonous pain)?"
  • Challenge Your Thoughts: Be mindful of thoughts that cause you to blame yourself or others, or to avoid the pain. Redirect your attention back to the primary pain and let yourself feel it.
  • Be Kind to Yourself: Treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer a child. Avoid harsh self-judgment or self-blame.
  • Practice Patience: Forming new habits of leaning into primary pain and letting go of poisonous pain takes time. Be patient with yourself as you practice these new skills.

Actionable Steps:

  • Reflect on Your Pain Responses: When you feel pain, take a moment to distinguish between primary pain and poisonous pain. Are you facing the pain or trying to escape it?
  • Be Present with Your Pain: Allow yourself to fully experience the discomfort of primary pain. Trust that you can survive it, and remind yourself that avoiding it only leads to more suffering.
  • Practice Self-Compassion: If you find yourself caught in poisonous pain, pause and remind yourself that it’s a human experience. Redirect your thoughts toward healing with kindness.

Quotes:

  • "Pain is part of the human experience. You wouldn’t want to be a person who doesn’t feel sad when they lose something important."
  • "It’s not the primary pain of OCD that makes it unbearable; it’s the fear of pain or the effort to avoid it that causes suffering."
  • "Once you know you can live through a feeling, you have nothing to fear anymore."

Next Episode:

Stay tuned for the next episode, where Dr. Rackner will share the Connection Prescription—a powerful method for helping others in pain, particularly those dealing with OCD, without overwhelming yourself. 

Connect with Dr. Vicki Rackner:
 

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